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Letter from President KE to the Prime Minister UK (Parody)

12/7/2016

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PictureLarry the cat, Chief Mouser at 10 Downing (Source: www.gov.uk)
​Dear Honorable Prime Minister Theresa May,
​
On behalf of the people of Kenya, I'd like to send our warm congratulations to you on becoming the head of the government of the United Kingdom. The British and the Kenyan peoples share much in common. No, I'm not talking about our colonial history. That, we accepted, and moved on.

I'm talking about neglect of the boy child. I note that the people of Great Britain have appointed the second female prime minister in decades.

But what about the British boy child? In fact, it appears to my government that the focus on the girl child is responsible for Brexit. The girl child advocates planned Brexit for the sole purpose of replacing David Cameron at 10 Downing with a woman prime minister. That is how much the British boy child has been neglected.

But I completely understand. Even here in Kenya, our boys are nearly facing extinction. The real threat is not extrajudicial killings, poverty, unemployment, a culture of political thuggery that is mostly masculine, commercialization of manhood, or poor social services that increase our boys' vulnerability to crime or drugs. Yes, extrajudicial killings may happen sometimes, but that is done by a few rogue police officers. Not all Kenyan police officers are like the white cops in the US killing black men. Our police service has greatly improved since the days when the service was established by Her Majesty's government.

The real challenge facing Kenyan boys is the focus on the girl child, which has left boys with no role models. The Kenyan taxpayers understand that I have to be a role model to my sons, and that is why my sons accompany me on my many international trips, at the Kenyan taxpayers' expense. And that is why we had to appoint a majority male cabinet, where only five out of 22 ministers are female. Our parliament also declined to pass a bill requiring representation of at least one third of each gender in the legislature. These great strides in gender equality have been made possible by the sheer commitment of my government.

I am sure that your government maintains the same principles of freedom for all. That is why I am glad to note that Larry the Cat has retained his position as Chief Mouser. That will be good news for males everywhere.

I will definitely make time to visit 10 Downing, when we can share notes on our mutual concern for the boy child. Until then, I hope that even though you are prime minister of the UK, your husband remains the head of the home.

​Yours sincerely
...

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    Wandia Njoya

    African. Woman. Wife. Teacher.

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